3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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