Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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