Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize