...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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