What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
