I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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