How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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