they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize