I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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