the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
