that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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