I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
