My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Your penis caused this!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
