I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
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I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
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I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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