i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
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It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
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You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize