Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
