Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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