thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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