what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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