she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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