I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We had to coat check the pizza.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten