My sheets look like a crime scene.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up