Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize