batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
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