Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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