i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
