chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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