OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize