What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize