Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
