My room smells like vodka and shame
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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