We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
