med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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