Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize