I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize