I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
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Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
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i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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