How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
