At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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