Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He did a backflip because drugs
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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