This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
