We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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