your room smells of hookers.
And success
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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