Plan B is the new Plan A
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Randomize
