I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.