i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Do vagina's smell?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
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i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
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He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts