you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
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Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
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my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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