I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
