so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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