D3 body, D1 cock
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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