those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize