So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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