Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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