Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
